There’s something to be said about a Pollyannaesque approach to life. A sunny disposition can get us through many things. But, positivity isn’t always the answer. As much as we’d like to always look on the bright side, life and the human experience just don’t work that way. Toxic positivity is what happens when we try to take the optimistic outlook to the extreme. When people insist on positive vibes only, they deny and invalidate other equally valid emotions: fear, anxiety, insecurity. You aim to quash suffering, but the refusal to accept reality leads to more pain instead. When done in excess, positivity can become toxic since it represses emotions. The very essence of humanity is in our flaws. We experience greed, jealousy, and inexplicable sadness. Just existing can be painful at times. Denying this truth can cause a lot of harm. Here are some examples of its negative effects.
It Encourages Silence
Forcing a positive outlook encourages people to stay silent about their struggles, and try to pretend that everything is always okay. Toxic positivity encourages shame about being “weak,” therefore, perpetuating silence. Studies show that bottling up troubling thoughts and feelings can cause more stress on the body. Verbalizing emotions or crying about them removes the tension out of our bodies. It’s what keeps our bodies healthy and our minds sane. A healthy expression of emotions improves our overall quality of life. Without embracing the good, bad, and the ugly – people are at risk of suffering stress-related diseases.
It Causes Isolation
Denying who we are means losing our sense of self. We begin to live inauthentic lives and become increasingly disconnected from everyone and everything around us. This is why it’s important to learn when positivity is helpful and when it’s harmful.
How To Recognize Toxic Positivity
Here are some of the ways toxic positivity can manifest in everyday life: Dismissing difficult emotions, feeling guilty for feeling a certain way, invalidating other people’s feelings with feel-good statements, reminding people that others have it worse, and shaming people for expressing negative emotions. Instead of focusing on the positives blindly, let’s aim for balance. The acceptance of good and bad things in our lives is part of being human. It’s normal, it’s cathartic and it’s what defines the human experience.